


Swallowed Up by the Ocean

by Dainslaif



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: All the creys, M/M, Song fic, break-up fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-03 11:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dainslaif/pseuds/Dainslaif
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Song fic, one-shot. As the captain sails off Peter is left to wonder if anything could have been done right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swallowed Up by the Ocean

Peter could never tell who the one in charge was; him, or Killian.

Some days it felt so obvious, that he could tell Killian whatever to do and he would do it without question just to quell some temper tantrum Peter had naively decided to throw. Other days he found himself bending to Killian’s will, moving time and space just to see his eye light up; seeing that Peter truly did care. Others still all they did was managing to fight and hurt one another. Those were the days Peter wished he could forget, replace them with fonder memories. The kind relationship built by fairy tales.

The kind he never had in his life as Malcolm.

The kind he would never seem to have as Peter Pan either.

_We spent a life together_  
 _That should have last forever_  
 _But now it’s time to sail on_

It started with a fight that even Magick couldn’t fix; Peter could hardly remember the specifics, but it hurt, that much he knew. It hurt them both, left blood on their hands; they killed and tortured people just to hurt each other. Their people were pawns in their own game, and they followed their leaders without question. 

Peter blocks the thoughts from his mind best he could, but the dogs of his memories continued to plague him, biting at his ankles to the point where even he could no longer be heartless; he had hurt his own heart, something even he beloved boy didn’t have. It was some sick cycle he was infinitely looped into; forever barring the way for love to worm its way into his heart.

They should have spent an eternity together. He would have found the heart of the truest believer, saved Neverland—saved himself. They could have been happy on the island together, but now all he could see was the Jolly Roger sail off again, and this time it didn’t seem to be coming back.

_So take this anchor from my heart_  
 _So we can finally drift apart_  
 _Before we drown in sorrow_

When had he made such mistakes? When had he plunged his knife directly into Killian’s heart? Why hadn’t he stopped himself! The words beg to be said by the false prince of Neverland, the apology. “Please…” 

It could never be said, but the tears that threatened to spill begged and begged; perhaps someday he could give in to himself and his tears.

_I gave you Sanctuary_  
 _Under the sun we lived carefree_  
 _I tried so hard to love you_

So hard, Peter remembered. He tried so hard to love Killian the way that the stories told him he should have. He gave and tried not to take too much. He gave his body, his soul, his everything, but what, why? Obsession. Both held one thing in common, one painfully obvious thing in common, their shared obsession.

Peter thought he had been the one to shelter Killian from the harsh worlds beyond his realm, but it had been Killian that brought peace; Peter broke that sanctuary by targeting the crew. He could still see the fear in the eyes of his boys when he told them to kill the crew. He could remember that but he couldn’t remember what slight the captain had caused, had done, to deserve so much death.

Killian wasn’t totally blameless, his childlike mind tried to remind him. It didn’t matter, in Peter’s eyes he had been totally blameless.

Peter had done what he was best at; being the villain.

_But then you turned your back on me_  
 _Your good intentions turned to greed_  
 _And now it’s good to know that you have been…_

Swallowed up by the ocean.

Killian had changed the prince fundamentally. Touched him and tainted him. To be tainted wasn’t such a bad thing, it meant that Killian was now as much a part of him as he had prayed to be a part of him.

Swallowed up by the ocean.

Killian had become his Everything.

Swallowed up by the ocean

And he didn’t care.

_Swallowed up by the ocean_  
 _Swallowed up_

What had he done now? The ship was long gone, and still Peter stayed on the shore, the tide coming in and soaking Peter’s boots, the moon rising, and the starts twinkling in sorrow. They had been so sad lately. When had all of Neverland become so sad as it had been wicked? The hope was all but gone from the land, replaced with Nothingness.

_The bluest skies turn into grey_  
 _Through tortured eyes I watched you change_  
 _A paradise went up in flames._

He could still hear the gruff voice whisper in his ear of unending paradise. A paradise for them, forever. The warmth of skin against skin, disjointed memories of the good mixed with the bad to create nothing but pain.

Retribution. For all the pain he had caused Killian. It was only fair. Peter closed his eyes.

_And though I cried a thousand times_  
 _You didn’t hear the rising tide_  
 _There’s nowhere left to hide since you have been_

Swallowed up by the ocean.

Killian Jones. The name mixed with the only other word he could think. The only word that could have ended the bloodshed, stopped the tears that the captain had been trying to share, understand the cries for help.

Swallowed up by the ocean.

Killian had tried, Peter had ignored.

Swallowed up by the ocean.

He deserved to be alone.

Swallowed up by the ocean.

_Your devastation took its toll_  
 _As the waves came crashing to the coast_  
 _This sinking ship I’m taking back from your control_  
 _It felt so good to cross my arms and renounce my faith in mankind_  
 _How could you ever be so blind to think you’d survive?_

The secret was—Peter had not survived. The Light that Killian had worked so hard to uncover.

The Light Peter worked so hard to cling to until Night set on his soul…

It was forever gone.

He had been swallowed up by the ocean.

Swallowed up by the ocean…

_I hope you know that nothing matters now that you have been_  
 _Swallowed up by the ocean_

Nothing mattered anymore.  
The only sound to be heard on the island that night was not the tears of the Lost Boys, but the tears of the lost Prince of Neverland now that he had been swallowed up by the ocean.

_Swallowed up by the ocean_  
 _I hope you know this ship has finally come to rest_  
 _I hope you know someday this ship will be… your end._

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one-shot song fic based off the song of the same name by the band Billy Talent. I'd suggest you listen to it because it really is an amazing song. I'm hoping to do a few more Captain Pan one-shots based off their music a little later. Hope you enjoyed.


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